wow
let me just
for a second of your time really
f u c k
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
fuckity /fuck/
yeah wow i am definitely pmsing right now
I’m going to try to explain this as perfectly logical and reasonable as I can. If you’ve been following my blog for more than 2 months, you’ll know how sad I can get about stuff. I can become really self-pitiful and uninteresting and quite morbid, and I relapse into that a lot. But it gets even more intense when I’m pining after someone who doesn’t want to be pined after.
Anyways, sorry, my point is this: I’ve kind of removed all these…all these “sad” emotions and I’ve been trying to lock them up and not dwell on them, and it was working. I’ve been doing it for the past two weeks, and it’s more than working. I feel better.
But when I stopped being sad over the main things like my unrequited love and the future, I have to say, I got bored. It’s boring being normal, and I know I would slip as soon as school started again, and I’d be hit by the symptoms that humans cause. But then, and this is soooooo anticlimactic, I kind of took that free time that I spent pitying on myself and transferred it to obsessing over - you guessed it - Sherlock.
This is silly, I know, I feel silly writing this. But right now, sleep deprived and kind of sad, I realize that I’m not sad about love or sad about that or this or stupid shit. I’m sad about John and Sherlock and the Reichenbach Fall and their obvious need-to-have-sex-with-each-other connection. God, I sound so lame, but my point is that I find myself happy that I am now sad about something that…it’s different, you know? It feels so good being sad about something like this. I can’t explain it. Kudos to my horrid writing skills failing me at a time like this, right?
Basically…-production- starts 2013? This is going to be a very long, happy sad couple of months.
is it just me or do your thoughts ever get so loud that you can’t even listen to music because you feel like any more noise would give you a headache?
Is this a motherfucking game to you? Do you think it’s funny when you pull me closer just as you notice I’m getting over you only to push me away once you’ve tightened the tether again? Does my love give you the right amount of confidence to go out and kiss whoever you want? God, you’re really a piece of work. Never in my life have I had to deal with a mind complex like yours. Feeding off the unrequited love of someone who’s way too fucking good for you simply to prep yourself for someone else - how the actual fuck do I let this happen? I should’ve pushed you away when you teased me with the opportunity of you.
it is very hard to wallow in your depression
in a resort
in dubai
but i am wallowing,
wallowing
and wallowing
i don’t want to be here and i don’t want to deal with you and i don’t want any of this right now, jeesus h christ.
